Lazerblade
New member
Brian says one night, in fact the same night, "I cannot believe that the United States does not recognize that Canada owns the North Pole. Why don’t they understand that?"
Then, Joe said.... “Texas owns the North Pole and always will." I said, without understanding maps, that “Joe, I think Alaska is bigger than Texas” Joe, with his help from Janet explained how globes and maps are distorted the closer you get to the pole. It made much sense and more beers were handed out with much rejoicing.
Then, Chas’s wife said.... "No, the Confederacy owns the North Pole and the South will rise again!" And she was serious. We all knew at that point to not say a word with Chaz giving us the signal behind her.
So this went on and Brian said something like.... "Everyone knows that Penguins are all Canadian, they speak Canadian (?) and, they live at the North Pole. So, that proves it."
I think that’s when Joe informed Brian that Penguins only live at the South Pole (even my 3 year old nephew knows that). And Brian said "No way eh, take off eh" or something like that.
Chas’s wife again said something about the South and Northern aggression so we did not say a word and we had a few more beers and there was much rejoicing.
Mr. Randy Trawnik then jumped in and began to tell us what kind of Penguins live at the South Pole and why they live there and have the markings that they do. He also shared with us why a Penguins life is so hard. He did say though that they have one thing going for them and that the fact that they do not taste good. I guess they are very oily and Orca and Sea lion’s don’t like greasy food. That made us all feel a little better.
My brother James then asked the question "Are books allowed in Canada or do you need a permit?" This was because we were planning on giving Brian the books mentioned before. Margo (Brian’s wife) told us that books were ok in Canada but it was a lotto system so that the government could control just how much knowledge would enter the country.
At some point in the night, Brian and Margo were invited to North Dakota to shoot machine guns on James brother in laws farm. Then, Gus took Brian to his room to show him something and on the bed was a bare naked American pistol with a box a bullets next to it. I am the first one to tell you that Gus, bullets, and a gun should never be in the same room but James said it was a very funny situation and Canadian Brian was in shock. Who knows, maybe Gus showed his Poo tattoo again.
Joe handed out more beer (back now in Joe’s room now) and Randy (Trawnik) began to tell us about the proper dress apparel of the Louisville Kentucky Police Department from 1900 to the present and why the uniform changed. When asked, even Randy could not explain why the roads were so insane and made no sense. Chaz’s wife might have said something about it being to confuse Northern invaders but we were scared of her by that point. (DISCLAIMER: No one is really scared of her, she is right about the war of “States Rights” and we all respect that. We all agreed that the T-Shirt we saw that said “General Sherman’s Atlanta Beautification Project” was unprofessional. We then had more beers and there was much rejoicing.
We were all very interested in the Northern War of Aggression but Brian, who was still irritated about the United States rebelling unlawfully against England, shouted out at that point “Claus (as in Santa) is a Canadian name” James said no, Santa is from Little Falls, Minnesota and he could prove that because the Department of Motor Vehicles has records of it. James did admit that there was some talk of Blitzen (one of Santa’s rain deer) being from a mixed family in Nova Scotia.
Gus now, a little starved from not getting enough attention, started yelling out “Kratchen! Kratchen! Kratchen! His wife Maggie said he does that now and then but usually does not grab himself so much when yelling it.
After that, more beer was had and there was much rejoicing.
Then, Joe said.... “Texas owns the North Pole and always will." I said, without understanding maps, that “Joe, I think Alaska is bigger than Texas” Joe, with his help from Janet explained how globes and maps are distorted the closer you get to the pole. It made much sense and more beers were handed out with much rejoicing.
Then, Chas’s wife said.... "No, the Confederacy owns the North Pole and the South will rise again!" And she was serious. We all knew at that point to not say a word with Chaz giving us the signal behind her.
So this went on and Brian said something like.... "Everyone knows that Penguins are all Canadian, they speak Canadian (?) and, they live at the North Pole. So, that proves it."
I think that’s when Joe informed Brian that Penguins only live at the South Pole (even my 3 year old nephew knows that). And Brian said "No way eh, take off eh" or something like that.
Chas’s wife again said something about the South and Northern aggression so we did not say a word and we had a few more beers and there was much rejoicing.
Mr. Randy Trawnik then jumped in and began to tell us what kind of Penguins live at the South Pole and why they live there and have the markings that they do. He also shared with us why a Penguins life is so hard. He did say though that they have one thing going for them and that the fact that they do not taste good. I guess they are very oily and Orca and Sea lion’s don’t like greasy food. That made us all feel a little better.
My brother James then asked the question "Are books allowed in Canada or do you need a permit?" This was because we were planning on giving Brian the books mentioned before. Margo (Brian’s wife) told us that books were ok in Canada but it was a lotto system so that the government could control just how much knowledge would enter the country.
At some point in the night, Brian and Margo were invited to North Dakota to shoot machine guns on James brother in laws farm. Then, Gus took Brian to his room to show him something and on the bed was a bare naked American pistol with a box a bullets next to it. I am the first one to tell you that Gus, bullets, and a gun should never be in the same room but James said it was a very funny situation and Canadian Brian was in shock. Who knows, maybe Gus showed his Poo tattoo again.
Joe handed out more beer (back now in Joe’s room now) and Randy (Trawnik) began to tell us about the proper dress apparel of the Louisville Kentucky Police Department from 1900 to the present and why the uniform changed. When asked, even Randy could not explain why the roads were so insane and made no sense. Chaz’s wife might have said something about it being to confuse Northern invaders but we were scared of her by that point. (DISCLAIMER: No one is really scared of her, she is right about the war of “States Rights” and we all respect that. We all agreed that the T-Shirt we saw that said “General Sherman’s Atlanta Beautification Project” was unprofessional. We then had more beers and there was much rejoicing.
We were all very interested in the Northern War of Aggression but Brian, who was still irritated about the United States rebelling unlawfully against England, shouted out at that point “Claus (as in Santa) is a Canadian name” James said no, Santa is from Little Falls, Minnesota and he could prove that because the Department of Motor Vehicles has records of it. James did admit that there was some talk of Blitzen (one of Santa’s rain deer) being from a mixed family in Nova Scotia.
Gus now, a little starved from not getting enough attention, started yelling out “Kratchen! Kratchen! Kratchen! His wife Maggie said he does that now and then but usually does not grab himself so much when yelling it.
After that, more beer was had and there was much rejoicing.
