joke thread

woznotwos

New member
My friend passed away because I couldn't remember his blood type.

As he lay dying in my arms he just kept saying " be positive , be positive " . . . . But its so hard without him
 

SkipperJohn

Well-known member
My wife and I were sitting on the sofa watching the news the other day when we saw a report that a famous rap singer was arrested --- again --- for abusing his supermodel wife.
I said to my wife: "I will never understand how the most belligerent, worthless, obnoxious, piece of horse dung men end up marrying the most beautiful women."
My wife looked at me and said: "Thanks."
 

aicusv

Active member
My wife came home the other night very excited. "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery," she cried. I asked her where I should pack for, warm or cold weather. She replied, "I don't care, just leave!"
 

woznotwos

New member
I asked my Gym instructor if she could show me how to do the splits.



”How flexible are you?” she replied



I said “I can do any days apart from Tuesdays and Fridays”
 

woznotwos

New member
Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? The ultrasound guy.



Who takes over when he's on holiday? The hip replacement guy.
 

woznotwos

New member
What's the difference between "Iron Man" and "Iron Woman"? One is a super hero whilst the other is a simple instruction.
 
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