joke thread

aicusv

Active member
So a Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a pub, the landlord looks up says, "What' this a joke".
 

aicusv

Active member
Which is dumber; A guys digging the foundation for a house boat or the one waiting to pour the cement?
 

aicusv

Active member
This photo was taken at my local waste treatment plant. So now if you need to buy s--t you know where to park.Customer Parking.jpg
 

woznotwos

New member
I was in London the other day when an American tourist stopped me and asked me the best way to Selfridges... I told him probably to put them on eBay...
 

woznotwos

New member
I was interviewed by the police last night.
I answered every question with 'No Comment'.
They rang this morning, I didn't get the job
 

aicusv

Active member
Now that it's Spring, I thought I get rid of some of the old stuff I have around the house. But she won't leave.
 

woznotwos

New member
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral, a voice from inside screams:
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"

The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:
"Too late, I've already started the paperwork."
 

woznotwos

New member
My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out.

I can't read a ****ing word now.
 
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